What sprints into your mind when you think: summer? The first thing that pops into your head when you close your mind and think of the perfect summer getaway? Beaches, I think, for me, although the more I scroll down Pinterest, the more I think summer is all flamingos and pineapples. But amongst all these happy and sunshine filled moments, is it possible that summer is… not that great for us after all?
Don’t get me wrong – I love summer. I used to love it way more when I didn’t have to spend it in the office (thank the Universe for a window desk), but it is still my… third favourite time of the year. Ok, I may love it slightly less than spring or autumn, which, as my birthday season, will never be beaten. Yet I do enjoy a good, sunny day and I wish I lived somewhere closer to the equator a bit more than I probably should. Summer is great. Isn’t it?
Still once summer is over and gone, and not yet forgotten I always feel so… odd about it. As if I have undergone some change or some intense life refurbishment that cannot be undone. Like I have fallen behind on who I was and what I wanted. Like, well, summer has somehow spoilt me.
Let me explain.
In summer I live outside
I am an indoors kind of girl. I think? Yes, that is definitely true. I enjoy the comforts of my own home and other roofed facilities. But as soon as it starts to get warm, I abandon my indoors nature and move outside.
There is one thing I am certain of: if I lived somewhere that summer lasts more than a week, I would not need a house. Other than a kitchen, of course, to pester the world with my baking. I’d be happy with the entire world being my home.
Going back to owning just few meters squared of someone else’s house after owning the entire world is a tough one. It takes some time to get used to walls again, and even longer to the lack of sunshine touching my skin. Well, at least I don’t have to wear sunscreen 24/7 anymore.
In summer I do not know the word: duty
As soon as I smell summer, I turn off the responsible switch in my brain. There is no such thing as duty in my dictionary. There is only summer and summer and summer.
There are so many things I fall behind on almost immediately – first thing to go is exercise and a proper diet, then slowly one by one I lose hobbies, and work, and friends. Sure, I show up to the office, but all I can think about is sun, so why would that even matter?
Please do not trust me with your life in summer. You’re gonna lose it.
In summer I forget about my everyday life
As everyone else I am a creature of habit. Routine is my second skin. I am one of those people who always take the same route back home, you know. But in summer, unbelievably, I tend to wonder around.
Autumn brings the scary realization that throughout the entire summer I have completely neglected every single routine of mine. Do we even exist without our little habits? The things we enjoy so much that we keep coming back to them? The quirks that make us who we are?
Sometimes I think that summer spoils me so much I completely let go of myself and whatever stands behind that.
In summer I am an entitled brat
Summer spoils me also in a more… literal way. Somehow, I am not even sure why, it makes me believe that everything is possible and everything is mine. Not in a good and empowering way, either. As soon as something does not go my way, in summer I turn into a real spoilt brat.
A sun elected princess, call me.
If there is a day of rain, I moan, as if the universe owed me only sunshine. There is a crowd on a beach, I moan, as if the beach was my own private property. There is no ice left in the freezer, I moan, as if I weren’t also responsible for replacing it.
And don’t even get me started on the amount of showers I take. On a good summer day, hot, sunny and free, I can go through at least six of them. Imagine leaving with someone like that. It must be a nightmare. At the end of summer, I despise myself, let’s not even imagine what other people think of me!
In summer I leave myself behind
At the end of the day there is just one simple reason why summer can spoil me so much: it is my drug.
Everyone has some addictions and mine is summer. Quite a common one; I don’t have to look far to find another summeraholic and I am sure some of you can relate to this a bit too much as well. Summer is just so… overpowering. It takes control of one’s life, fills one’s head with blind happiness and erases anything else it finds in its way.
One can get high on summer and I often do. I leave my life and myself behind and go on a mindless journey that doesn’t have an end or a goal other than living through it.
Autumn brings remorse and questions. In autumn I no longer understand how I could have been so foolish to begin with. But in summer, in summer I am the Queen of Fools, taken straight out of some Shakespearian play performed in a cheap theatre two doors down.
Summer always wins and it is I who pays the price.
Let us take a moment to thank all the ducks who assisted me taking this pictures – don’t worry, they got paid in strawberries. Don’t want to miss my next post? Follow me on Bloglovin’ for automated updates. See you on Wednesday!